​Last week I fessed up about my sugar addiction.  This week I come clean about another habit, a guilty pleasure! I love the reality TV series, "Big Brother."  I am a little behind in watching it, I catch up on episodes saved on our TiVo when I am in the mood.  If you watch the show then you will already know all about the house guest named Amanda.  If you do not watch the show, then you need to know that it is a strategy game involving a number of people cut off from the world, living in a house together, who are filmed 24/7.  They compete for privileges and power, and over time they vote each other out.  In the end evicted members form a jury to decided on which of the finalists was the best player and award him or her with the grand prize of a half million dollars.  Back to Amanda.  Amanda has played the game in such a way that she has not had to win competitions, but she is still In a strong alliance and convinces the other house guests to nominate and vote to evict whomever she has a vendetta against.  Some in the house call her a bully, others say she is, "assertively honest!" 

​Now, what got me thinking about this one reality television star, is a particular statement she made.  During an interview she looked directly into the camera and stated, "I always get what I want."  I practically groaned when I heard it, because my personal opinion of Amanda's behavior (or how CBS portrays her behavior) is that it tends more toward bully.  I couldn't help but feel for the underdogs playing against her.  It just got under my skin that someone sometimes so seemingly out of touch with others' feelings always gets what she wants.  Maybe it is a front, maybe it is good editing, but darn it if it doesn't just seem like we all know a few people like that! Have you not ever felt like there was another person always getting what he or she wanted? A promotion? A better house? A super vacation? A nicer car?

​Look, if you think I am about to say that we should play the game of life like this Amanda character plays Big Brother, that is not what I am getting at.  I truly believe that if you play life in an "assertively honest" fashion, your house of cards will come tumbling down eventually.  What I do believe about people like Amanda (or her character in the show, who really knows?) or even people who are a little more gentle in their approach to getting what they want, is that they share a common thought pattern: they have unwavering belief.  They just cannot see life any other way.  

​People who achieve their goals believe that they deserve what they are after.  They can envision themselves reaching their goal, they know what it looks like, sounds like, feels like, and smells like even before they get it.  They have a vision and intention.  It is unwavering belief that leads them to their desires.  With unwavering belief in yourself, I believe you can accomplish anything.  You do not need to be a bully, pushy, or manipulative, but if you set your mind to achieve something, do not picture it any other way.  Imagine, write down even, what the future will be like for you.  Envision it vividly: the year, the month, the day.  Who is with you, what are you wearing? What does it feel like? 

​When I first heard this sort of advice, I found it extremely hard to vividly describe what I wanted.   I even doubted the exercise.  If I closed my eyes and pictured a clean bathroom would some fairies appear and scrub our toilet? Over time I have come to see that having a clear vision of your future does yield what you want.  However, as you see from my bathroom example, the vision and belief are not the only piece of the puzzle.  The other thing that differentiates people who get what they want from people who do not is that they take consistent steps to reach their goals.  That clean bathroom? Well, the fairies need to stay on top of it, no coming to call once in a while.  Consistent, focused effort will win.

​Is there something you have been thinking about doing? Want to lose some weight? Want to eat better? Want to take a nice vacation? Want to learn a new skill? Envision it with great detail, write it down, and try to figure out the steps necessary to reach your goal.  Do that and you can get there.  You will not even have to play the part of the bad guy, you can simply be yourself- nice, consistent and with a clear picture of your future.

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    Jennifer Loebel